Memorial Day Weekend

For most of my life, Memorial Day Weekend represented the beginning of a brand new summer spent with my family at our house in Sag Harbor, NY. My dad named the house The Great Escape back in the early 70’s when he and my mom purchased the property on which it now stands and built the summer home for us to get away from the city for the summer. Our house was always full of close friends and family, late-night parties, loud music, happy times for my younger sister and me. When my parents divorced in the late 70’s my dad kept the house out east, my mom kept the house in the city. So much has changed over the years, but the one constant through it all was The Great Escape. It was the one place that still said home, where I spent my formative childhood and teenage years and into adulthood, where I watched my dog Maya (RIP) swim in the bay across the road, season after season, giving me the most joyful feeling imaginable.

When the house was sold two years ago, well, I was sad, torn actually, but I understood that it was time for another family to take over and build memories of their own. Today, as I sit  in my living room, taking small sips from my second cup of coffee, with Anya, my 4-year old chocolate lab soaking up the sun’s rays as she takes her morning nap on the hardwood floor, I’m feeling a mix of melancholy and gratitude. Sad that I don’t have Sag Harbor to take Anya swimming, no more bbq’s or happy hours on the deck, no more breathtaking sunsets, but thankful that I have my dad and his wife, who I will be visiting at their home on Long Island in a few hours. It will be nice to get away for the day and spend quality time with my family. I realize that what made The Great Escape such a special place, was my dad and my sister and Maya and my extended family and old friends and new friends ~ without them, the house would be simply that – a house. Although it’s no longer physically part of my life, the soul, the very essence of that house, hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s alive inside of me and everyone and everything it ever embraced.

 

 

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AMC Wall of Honor – for Maya

http://www.amcny.org/donate-amc/pet-memorial-wall/maya

Maya

07-17-1999 – 08-14-2012

I’m still mourning the loss of my Maya, so it’s emotionally difficult for me to tell her story. All I can say for now is that I was blessed to have her for 13 beautiful years. She changed me by giving me hope that life can be good – she was funny, smart and had a personality that made anyone who met her, fall in love with her within minutes. There will never be a replacement for her, and I would give anything to see her swim again.
This is for Maya, the incredible soul who came into my life at exactly the right time. I love this picture because it shows her smiling and being her funny self.

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AMC Wall of Honor – what a touching way to keep the memory of our lost pets alive! 

Cyber Time and FOMO-phobia

I’ve got to make this quick. My time online has been reduced to about 30 minutes per day. That doesn’t leave much for a scroll on Facebook, reading and responding to emails, online grocery shopping, and the one thing I miss the most – writing/blogging. If not for my iPhone and iPad mini, I’d be completely out of touch with the cyber world. I was not expecting to suffer so greatly from FOMO – the fear of missing out on who my friends were in past lives (Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde), which city they’re supposed to be living in, which flower they were meant to be. It’s one thing to choose to take a break from the online world, but being forced to choose how to spend half an hour a day (before Percoset kicks in) has forced a new way of prioritizing the best use of 1,800 seconds. Today I decided to post on my Chat Lounge, and I’m not even going to spell check or proofread for grammar fuckups. Yeah, I just cursed, BFD.

I’m really just dropping in to say ‘ello to my pals, let everyone know that I miss them and that I can’t wait to have my surgery and get back to normal (my normal, not society’s definition) and reconnect and catch up on the fun stuff I feel so left out of – like the notes to yourselves about never leaving the house without checking that your socks match, and to always be kind to strangers, as we’re all struggling with our demons and that your cats love you even though they don’t show it. I knew I was going through cyber withdrawal when I nearly had a panic attack on siblings day – luckily I made it just in time to post a profile pic of my sister and me but not without breaking into a sweat, searching for the “right” photo where we both look decent and uploading it (and cropping the thumbnail so we both have even space in the shot) – it was a marathon I tell you.

So while I have at best ten minutes to go on my laptop before my arms start to feel like they’re being pulled off, I still need to sort through about 100 resumes for a job I posted last week, order pet food for Anya, pay bills, and see if anyone’s cousin had a baby, if a friend of a friend I’ve never met in person is able to get WiFi (Yay!) during their holiday on an exotic island in the middle of who-knows/cares-where, and which teams are playing and which of those teams suck ass or don’t deserve to be on the field and who on FB is sitting on field level and must take a photo from every angle and post it like right now, like immediately, to show that they have THE BEST seats and how close they are to the players – so close that they can see the pores in their skin even under their helmets or hats. Personally, I am sad that this is Jeter’s last season with the Yankees. He’s turning 40 – and now I feel old, so I better NOT look at Facebook because I’ll feel even older, fatter and more loserish than I did 20 minutes ago – because EVERYONE on earth is living a healthier, more fun, more interesting, more fulfilled, more cultured and definitely tanner life than I’ll ever have.

Anya told me to bark hello to all of you and seriously hopes that I post a photo of her soon because she’s afraid you’ll all forget how cute she is. What’s that, Anya? You want your pic on Instagram too? I better go then, looks like those resumes will have to wait until tomorrow.

The Effing Flu

I thought today would be my re-entrance into the world of the living. I’ve been off the grid, out of touch and out of sight (except for some online Scrabble here and there) since Sunday night when I got struck with this disgustingly nasty flu that’s been going around. There was no warning.  Not even one itty bitty symptom that might make me think I was about to get hit. It was a sudden attack of nauseau, queasiness, a pounding headache and piercing stomach cramps that decided to strike all at once.  I’m just grateful that I didn’t have anyone over for a Golden Globes party.  The last thing I would want or need is to get sick in front of a live audience.

My poor dog Anya seemed confused by my bizarre behavior. Usually when I’m watching television, I’m settled in my corner spot on the couch for hours at a time, with her cuddled next me. She curls up close enough so that one part of her warm furry body is in constant contact with my arm or leg –  even if she’s facing away from me. I know she was really annoyed that I couldn’t keep still and continually broke our attachment. Her eyes followed me like a ping-pong match as I paced back and forth across my living room, waiting for the next bout of “oh no, here it comes again” – as I scrambled out of her line of vision, hands cupped over my mouth.

I had every intention of getting back to my routine today – even though I didn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes last night, thanks to having the cold sweats and a fever. Right now, I’m feeling the wrath of the virus – my body is sore and riddled with muscle aches. Even my eye lashes hurt. My mood is foul. How is it possible that I’ve barely eaten a thing in four days, yet my clothes, stretchy loungewear, are tight on me? What the hell?? Ugh, there’s so much stuff that needs to get done – I’m staring at a pile of paperwork, and it’s making me anxious. It’ll have to wait. Clearly I’m in no shape to do much of anything today, especially since I’m a klutz even when I’m not sick.

So much for my plans for a productive day – it’s bedtime somewhere.

I should have listened to my doctor and gotten the flu shot. From what I hear, it’s not too late – so save yourselves from this nightmare and go get the shot!

Should've gotten the shot!
Should’ve gotten the shot!